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8.18.20

It's Tuesday. There are 77 days until the presidential election. Democrats rock the virtual house on night one, Senate Intel Committee says yeah there was collusion and a top DHS official endorses Biden.

Note: So nobody panic but we're a little freaked out. It's been many hours since Michelle Obama's speech and these goosebumps haven't gone away. Is this just our skin now? It's special when it happens every once in a while, but this is terrifying. We feel like one of the lame X-men. But if we're honest about it — and y'all know we're nothing if not honest to a fault and shockingly attractive — while we regard her as a higher being living on a cloud, Michelle kinda loses us a bit with the high road stuff. She's probably right, and she's probably talking about making the world a better place for her kids and she's probably definitely a better person than we are. But the high road just ain't our style. You make one Rudy fucked his cousin joke up there and you get so many dirty looks. But the thing that makes Michelle -- we call her Michelle because goddamn she's the most personable person in the history of politics and we're a little pretentious -- anyway, the thing that makes Michelle such a badass atomic bomb of fierce elegance who is more of a force like the wind or a sunbeam than a human being is that she laid out a blueprint for how even foul-mouthed lunatics like us can take the high road. The "it is what it is line" straight up dropped us. Cold-blooded artistry. It was like in a movie where a ninja swings a sword really fast and then nothing happens and then the bad guy's arms and legs fall off. But still, we can't lie. The high road probably won't last for us, and if anybody could make us feel guilty about that, it's Mrs. Obama. But if that lady says we're taking the high road, then fuck it, the high road is getting some foul-mouthed lunatics. 

Note two: Did you hear the latest one about Rudy Giuliani doing his cousin? When Rudy dropped out of the 2008 presidential race he said he was going to spend more time with his family. Three months later, he couldn't walk straight and three of his cousins were pregnant. Ok ok. What does Rudy call an orgy? A family reunion. We're so sorry. Please keep reading. 

Note three: See? Asking us to take the high road is like asking a fish to play tennis. We're sorry, Mrs. Obama, we promise to do everything else you said, and we're still floating on air from your amazing speech.

Note four: The women laughing at Trump this morning as he announced he's going to pardon Susan B. Anthony was really something. Do we think he'll be able to get through the event without mentioning her looks?

Note five: Happy birthday to the 19th Amendment. That women have only been able to vote in this country for 100 years is a good reminder that we didn't suddenly get stupid and cruel with Trump. 

Note six: Y'all want something to get excited about? More: NBA

Note seven: We need to say this. Bernie kicked ass last night. His fear for the future of the country was evident, and his pleas to his supporters were sincere. The line about Nero was chef's kiss. A unified Democratic Party is a damn powerful thing, and we're gonna need it to throw this orange disgrace out of office.

Note eight: Credit to Wesley Lowery, who was the first person we saw to make the joke that Kasich should've played "Crossroads" by Bone Thugs N Harmony for his part of the program. Though our own feeling is that shit is way too cool for a stiff like Kasich.

Note nine: Anybody else cry when they played John Prine's last song? Yeah, um, us neither. We were totally cool. More: Yahoo

Note 10: This is so damn cool… More: CNN

Note 11: What an awesome opening night. We weren't sure how they were gonna pull this off in our disease-ridden country, but that was a damn fine production that got us emotional and fired up. What did y'all think? Anyway, we hope you have a wonderful Tuesday, and don't forget to listen to Dr. Jill Biden tonight. And make sure you consult with a doctor if your goosebumps last for more than four hours.

Night One

Well, we talked about it a lot in the notes section, but last night was a fantastic kick off to launch us into the homestretch of the campaign. Michelle was awesome, Bernie was awesome, the mash-up of the former contenders was awesome. But to us, it was the stories from hurting Americans that really moved us. Hearing from George Floyd's brothers. Kristin Urquiza telling the country that her father died of COVID, and "his only pre-existing condition was trusting Donald Trump, and for that, he paid with his life." Gutting. And it's setting up quite a contrast. Republicans announced yesterday that the gun idiots from St. Louis and that weasel kid in the red hat who sued CNN are speaking at their convention. Aren't you feeling pretty good about which side you're on? Trump was clearly embarrassed by Michelle's speech. This morning all he could do is repeat the stuff she already said ("She's in over her head.") and criticize her for low-balling the actual number of Americans he's killed. Great job last night, Democrats. Let's keep this party going! More: CNN, Associated Press, Washington Post

Yes, collusion 

Senate Intel dropped its long-awaited Volume 5 report into Russian attacks on our democracy, and it found that Paul Manafort was working with a Russian intelligence agent. It found that Roger Stone drafted pro-Russian tweets at Trump's request. It found that Trump used Stone to get inside information on wikileaks. It found that Don Jr. knowingly went after dirt on Hillary from people with connections to the Russian government. And it found that Putin "almost certainly" knew that Trump was trying to build a tower in Moscow. This is collusion. This is treason. And the American people decided early on they didn't give a shit, so the political press didn't either. But it is nothing less than a shocking betrayal of our nation, and that so few seem to care should be of grave concern to all of us. But at least he's learned his lesson. Oh wait, he was retweeting Kremlin disinformation attacks on Biden just yesterday. More: Politico, Mercury News

Spill the tea

Miles Taylor, Trump's former DHS chief of staff, dropped a video and an op-ed yesterday, in which he lays out some egregious Trump behavior and then endorses Joe Biden. We won't do the greatest hits because you should really read the whole thing. The fact that there haven't been more people doing this really bodes poorly for the future of the country, but hopefully Americans will hear what Miles has to say. More: Washington Post, Axios

Today's clips

Coronavirus cases are already surfacing in K-12 schools that have reopened, but the federal government is not tracking these outbreaks, and some states are not publicly reporting them, making it more difficult to determine how the virus is spreading, experts say.
More: NBC News

Cash and other postal workers say there have been concerning and potentially catastrophic changes in mail delivery since Louis DeJoy took over as postmaster general in June.
More: NBC News

A federal judge in Chicago has tossed out a lawsuit former Trump campaign adviser Carter Page filed against the Democratic National Committee over the so-called dossier it commissioned in 2016 that alleged Page and other Trump allies colluded with Russia.
More: Politico

Postmaster General Louis DeJoy has agreed to House Democrats' request for him to testify next week about his controversial Postal Service changes that have raised hackles around the nation, according to two people familiar with the matter.
More: Politico

President Donald Trump, the nation's most outspoken foe of mail voting, has returned his mail ballot for Tuesday's Florida primary to the Palm Beach County elections office.
More: Sun-Sentinel

Since signing an executive order a week ago, President Trump has repeatedly said that his administration was "stopping evictions" and "protecting people from evictions." The order would "largely — hopefully, completely" solve a looming crisis among renters at risk of losing their homes, Trump said.

But across the country, evictions are continuing.
More: Washington Post

Belarusan President Alexander Lukashenko walked off the stage Monday at a tractor plant in Minsk, Belarus, to workers chanting loudly for him to step down, as he struggles to contain mass anger in the wake of an election widely seen as fraudulent.
More: Washington Post

A top senator is accusing the FBI of keeping Democrats in the dark about the agency's disclosures to Republican-led Senate committees, revealing that the FBI later made a mea culpa and pledged not to repeat the apparent violations of congressional oversight norms.
More: Politico

"Anonymous" is trolling President Donald Trump one more time.
More: Politico

Out-of-work Americans may see only a three-week boost to their unemployment benefits, as state and federal officials scramble to stretch out a limited pot of money and implement President Trump's recent policy order.
More: Washington Post

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill abruptly decided it will no longer hold in-person classes on campus after about 130 students tested positive for Covid-19 in the first week since classes began.
More: CNN

U.S. Sen. Cory Gardner, a Yuma Republican up for re-election this fall, faced several questions from reporters Monday about slowdowns at the U.S. Postal Service but gave few direct answers.
More: Denver Post

The addition of Kamala Harris to the Democratic ticket provided Joe Biden with the biggest surge of online enthusiasm he's seen in the entire campaign, according to data from NewsWhip provided exclusively to Axios.
More: Axios

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 







 

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